The following is a true story, though the names have been changed to protect the privacy of my friend "Mary" who did grant permission to publish this blog.
Part of me still regrets never visiting my friend Rob in his final days of life. I find myself wondering why I did not have the courage to do so. Maybe it was thinking that the patient, loving care his wife Mary offered was enough. The last time I saw Rob, Mary offered herself as his crutch because the muscles in his legs and arms were wasting away from ALS. She translated his grunts into words like a mother would do for a young child. I could remember Rob once telling me that he hoped I would one day find that life companion and love he had found in Mary.
Maybe it was thinking Rob would prefer to be remembered as the strong healthy man who once stood so strong. Rob did everything his doctors told him would improve his health including daily exercise, excellent dietary habits along with whole food supplements, and unfortunately taking a triglyceride lowering medication. About a year after being placed on the medication, Rob was noticing significant wasting of his muscles, he had gone from walking five miles a day to no longer being able to get up out of a chair without assistance. His doctors poked, prodded, and ran him through hundreds of tests but were unable to offer any answers. Eventually I told Rob that although it is not within my scope of practice to make recommendations regarding medications, as his friend not as his doctor I suggested he try going off his medication. Within weeks there was a notable improvement and within a year he was walking his five miles a day again. This is how I wanted to remember him, as a patient who could conquer the odds.
Maybe it was thinking that I could have done more, because five years later Rob's symptoms returned along with a mind numbing diagnosis of ALS (aka Lou Gehrig's Disease). I had read that cholesterol lowering drugs work by increasing the receptor sites which allow for reabsorbtion of LDL's, and even when a person stops taking such drugs that those receptor sites do not disappear. But for five years Rob had done well, and I had hoped that maybe since his was a triglyceride lowering drug maybe his case was different. I wondered if I had learned about the high fat, specific targeted nutrition for ALS patients sooner if it would have made a difference.
Maybe it was anger.... Towards the pharmaceutical companies for not admitting to such risks (it has been said that the only time a drug is recalled is when the suspected loss of income from settling lawsuits exceeds the loss of income from the sales of the product); Towards lawyers and a political system who have already made it illegal for anyone in America to sue pharmaceutical companies for any adverse reaction to an immunization, and in some states are making it illegal to sue a pharmaceutical company for any drug which has been approved for use. These same lawyers will also sue a doctor for not suggesting cholesterol drugs or any other indicated drugs to their patients; Towards doctors who take the majority of their continuing education in classes sponsored by the pharmaceutical companies and are not able to recognize the muscle weakness, increased pain, and decreased quality of life that I hear from my patients taking cholesterol drugs; Towards a media that promotes the latest a greatest drug, and bases their choices on money instead of the greater good of society.
Maybe it was realizing how powerless I am, that I could not have done more. We all have our own journey in life, and it saddens my soul to see victims of greed. But in the end only God truly has the power to heal or call us home. Maybe in the end I will always wonder why I did not have the courage to visit my friend in his final days.
But I do believe each and every person who touches my life serves a purpose. Maybe it was Rob's purpose to make me realize that no doctor, pharmacist, drug company, or chemist can possibly understand all the unique biochemical reactions that occur within our body. Surely there are instances where drugs can save lives, but as for me I'll take my chances and stick to what God made as much as possible.
